Self Improvement Made Easy

I hear from lots people – clients and readers of my Personal Development Ezine – who tell me that they have become far calmer, more aware and focused as a result of the various little “mental exercises” that they practice to banish distraction and move themselves towards where they want their life to go. I often receive feedback from people who tell me that their lives have altered and that they have seen some of their objectives being achieved almost effortlessly. But others wonder why, if they are developing calm, clarity and presence of mind, nothing new and exciting seems to be happening in their lives.

In addressing this issue, I often refer to what a client from Northern Ireland said to me at the height of the so-called “Troubles”. He said “It must be that, for some people, doing their mental exercises is a bit like the way some of my fellow-countrymen go to Mass on a Sunday, kneel down and pray and, on a Monday, go out and shoot someone!” A well made point – if your efforts at personal development don’t make an impact in the ordinary course of your everyday life, there really is little or no point in fooling yourself into thinking that you’re on the road to the life that you want. Personal development isn’t supposed to make you feel good for just a few minutes each day, it’s supposed to change your life and if it isn’t doing that, then you’re doing something wrong.

As I write this, I’m expecting a client who is going to spend the next couple of days with me here in the Alps. He sent me an advance note – what he called his “agenda” – and, in that note, he asks how to bring the calm and focus that you get during meditation or mental exercising into the cut and thrust of everyday life. My answer to him will be simple. During the course of your everyday life, especially when the going gets tough, you’ve got to regularly stop yourself, notice state of mind and compare it with the calm and clarity that you get when you’re doing your personal development exercises. If you’re state of mind has drifted from your benchmark calm then you’re going to have to take a momentary step back from what’s going on, take a few deep breaths, and restore the mental calm and focus that will make the difference to your actions and personal effectiveness in the present moment.

Personal development isn’t personal development if you’re not seeing concrete results in your ordinary life – if your life is still all over the place, you’re just lulling yourself into an even more dangerous place where you might well make decisions or taking what you think is action that could make your life worse rather than better.