Self Improvement Made Easy

I know this may sound INSANE, but I honestly don’t know what is wrong with me. I want so badly to take care of my home, even if it’s to some minimal standard. I can’t stand when people tell me not to be so hard on myself. I am raising 2 beautiful boys in a filthy house. I don’t want anyone to tell me that I should just let go of the "old-fashioned" woman takes care of the house thing, because I don’t want to! I’ve tried "Flylady" but seriously, some of her stuff is kinda dumb to me. I mean, I wear business casual to school and work all day, and when I come home, I want to take my damn shoes off! And what the hell does it mean to "boogie"?! I have this habit of sabotaging everything positive in my life. I know I’m smart, I know I can do this. All I want is to be organized, to do as well as I know I can do in school, and take care of my home and my family, and I want to be the hot fun girl I used to be. My family shouldn’t have to live like this! Why is this so damned hard!